When I started this blog in 2006, I wanted to do something different from what I had done in blogging for the three years prior. I created my first Xanga account in 2003, late in my junior year of high school. At the time, it served as a brief log of the events of my personal life as well as a means to interact with friends. After a while, I grew bored of the inane selections of regurgitated daily life (along with some of the drama that arose from certain blog-interactions) and began writing about my opinions on various subjects.

I created Syntaxian as a means to express myself in a way different than I ever had before. Inspired by bloggers such as Drakonskyr, Thousandthdish, Kestryl, Franksabunch, and a few others with distinct personas (whether fabricated, real, or a combination of both), I began carving out my little niche in cyberspace.

Cliches aside, it felt good. Not only could I express myself creatively, people actually liked what they were reading. The person I had created was quickly becoming popular. At risk of sounding like a socially-inept ugly duckling (which is not entirely untrue), I began making friends with people that I'd never typically have the chance to get to know. It was (and is) incredible.

Syntaxian was a doorway to a certain level of self-expression that I hadn't previously allowed myself to explore. It helped me to gain a certain amount of confidence in my self and allowed me to meet a lot of great people. But in creating Syntaxian, I also trapped myself in a certain mold.

Eventually, posting as Syntaxian became draining. What began as an extension (and partial exaggeration) of myself seemed to be taking on a life of its own. That's not entirely bad, but after a time it began demanding more time and energy than I had or was willing to spare. Call it laziness, call it what you will. The point is that in many ways I've moved past the point in my life where "Syntaxian" was a significant (if not necessary) development. It was a great stepping stone, but I think I'm ready to take a step off. That could be why I've been so restless with this blog over the past few months, why I haven't been able to really write anything fitting here. I blamed Xanga and its recent changes for my failure to keep up with a persona that I'd outgrown.

What I've realized is this: it's time for me to move on.

And so, this is the closing scene. It's been a good two-and-a-half years, but now it's time to say good-bye.